Let’s be honest - how many times have you felt guilty for taking time for yourself?
Maybe it was when you turned your phone off to get some quiet. Or when you skipped a social event because you were tired. Or when you said no to something that just didn’t feel right, even though everyone expected you to say yes.
The truth is, we live in a world that rewards self-sacrifice. You’re praised for being busy. For holding everything together. For being strong, helpful, and “always there” for everyone else. You get celebrated for pushing through, even when you're physically exhausted or emotionally numb.
But who’s holding space for you?
Here’s the part no one teaches us: self-care isn’t a luxury, and it definitely isn’t selfish. It’s essential. Especially if you’re someone who gives a lot of yourself- whether that’s as a coach, a parent, a partner, a leader, or simply someone who feels deeply and shows up fully.
Burnout Is Not a Badge of Honour
If you’ve been feeling anxious, tired all the time, emotionally overwhelmed, easily triggered, or just... off, there’s a good chance your nervous system is overloaded.
This isn’t about willpower. It’s about regulation.
When we’re constantly switched on, living in fight-or-flight, the body doesn’t get the chance to reset. Over time, that leads to chronic stress, poor sleep, brain fog, mood swings, emotional disconnection, and even physical symptoms like headaches or digestive issues.
This is where self-care becomes not just helpful, but non-negotiable.
What Self-Care Really Looks Like (Spoiler: It’s Not Always a Spa Day)
The term 'self-care' gets thrown around a lot, often reduced to things like skincare routines and scented candles. While those things can absolutely be part of it, real self-care goes much deeper.
It’s the decision to stop numbing out and start tuning in.
Sometimes it’s breathwork instead of scrolling. A 10-minute meditation before checking emails. A walk in silence so you can actually hear your own thoughts. Saying no when something drains your energy. Saying yes to rest, even if the laundry isn't done.
Self-care is creating space to meet yourself where you are - not where you think you should be.
You Don’t Have to Earn Your Rest
So many women carry this belief that they have to “deserve” rest. That they have to achieve enough, do enough, give enough - be enough - before they’re allowed to slow down.
But rest isn’t something you earn. It’s a biological need.
Think of your nervous system like a battery. If you never recharge it, it doesn’t matter how much passion, purpose, or potential you have - you’re going to burn out. And no amount of external success can fill the internal gap left by self-neglect.
You can’t pour from an empty cup. And you shouldn’t have to.
Self-Care is Not About Escaping Life. It’s About Living It Fully
Here’s the powerful part: when you make time for self-care, you're not avoiding life - you’re becoming more equipped to meet it.
When your nervous system is regulated, your energy is more stable. Your emotions don’t hijack your day. You’re more creative, patient, focused, and grounded. You lead better. You love better. You live better.
And when you're showing up from a place of wholeness instead of depletion, everything around you begins to shift too. Your relationships improve. Your work becomes more fulfilling. Your confidence rises. Life doesn’t feel quite so heavy.
Let’s Talk Science (Because This Isn’t Just a Feel-Good Idea)
Self-care practices like meditation, breathwork, and somatic movement are backed by research. They’ve been shown to lower cortisol (your body’s main stress hormone), support heart-brain coherence, increase emotional regulation, and even change the structure of your brain over time through neuroplasticity.
When you engage in daily regulation practices, your brain literally becomes more resilient. Your body learns that it’s safe to rest, to soften, to stop bracing for impact. Over time, your default setting shifts from survival mode to presence and clarity.
This isn’t about adding another thing to your to-do list. It’s about reclaiming your energy, your peace, and your personal power.
The Ripple Effect of One Regulated Woman
What if the most generous thing you could do for your family, your clients, your community - was to care for yourself first?
Imagine what becomes possible when you’re no longer reactive, when you’re not stuck in cycles of overgiving and under-receiving. Imagine how your presence shifts when you’re rested, emotionally attuned, and connected to your own needs.
You become the example. The anchor. The calm in the chaos.
Others feel that. Whether it’s your children, your clients, or your partner - they benefit from your regulation. Not from your exhaustion.
This is leadership. This is legacy.
If You’re Thinking “But I Don’t Have Time...”
That’s the most common thing I hear. And it’s valid. Life is full. But the question is not whether you have time. It’s whether you’re willing to believe you’re worth it.
Because time spent regulating your nervous system, calming your mind, and connecting to your breath will give you more energy, more focus, and more clarity - not less.
It doesn’t have to be hours of yoga or a weekend away. It can start with five minutes. One breath. One conscious pause in your day where you choose to check in instead of check out.
Let’s Reframe It Together
Self-care is not selfish. It is not indulgent. It is not something you squeeze in after everyone else’s needs have been met.
It is a practice of self-responsibility. A declaration that your wellbeing matters. That your energy is sacred. That you no longer need to run on empty to prove your worth.
This isn’t just about feeling better in your body. It’s about living from a place of wholeness. It’s about remembering that you are allowed to take up space. To need support. To slow down.
Because when you honour yourself, you show others what’s possible.
And that creates real, lasting change - not just for you, but for everyone your life touches.
And if there comes a time when doing it alone feels heavy, know that there are spaces where this kind of care is held for you. Places where rest is unrushed, where you're reminded it’s safe to slow down, and where your nervous system can begin to feel at ease again.
Sometimes being witnessed in your stillness - without expectation - is the most healing part of all. If that speaks to something in you, there may be a retreat waiting to meet you, whenever you’re ready.
You’re welcome to explore what’s currently unfolding, and trust the one that feels like it’s calling you home.